A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me I'm afraid of widths.
I always wanted to be somebody but now I realize I should have been more...
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Housework can't kill you but why take a chance?
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out I lock every other...
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us...
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's...
Between two evils I always pick the one I never tried before.
Get your facts first then you can distort them as you please.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of...
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Go to Heaven for the climate Hell for the company.
A day without sunshine is like you know night.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit...
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning...
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Human misery is too great for men to do without faith.
