Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow...
Before I refuse to take your questions I have an opening statement.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
If two wrongs don't make a right try three.
I intend to live forever. So far so good.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's I mean.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
You can lead a man to Congress but you can't make him think.
I used to be Snow White but I drifted.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the...
I have never been given to envy - save for the envy I feel toward those people who have the ability to make a marriage work and endure happily.
