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Funny Quotes 905

Bertrand Russell

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Erma Bombeck

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Henry A. Kissinger

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Oscar Levant

Roses are red violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

Joe E. Lewis

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Billy Connolly

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William...

Milton Berle

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Don Marquis

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

Robin Williams

I'm sorry if you were right I'd agree with you.

Joan Rivers

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and...

Arnold Schwarzenegger

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said Thyroid problem?

Ronald Reagan

One picture is worth 1 000 denials.

George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Groucho Marx

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Katharine Hepburn

Life is hard. After all it kills you.

Laurence J. Peter

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

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Random Quote

Scott Weiland Beauty

Music as many people have said is the universal language. Of course points are made which make you think about things but ultimately it makes you feel. And that's why people remember more songs that have meant something during their life than films. They start to define periods in your life and that's kind of the beauty of it.

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