It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Whatever is funny is subversive every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics that action and reaction are equal and opposite that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.

It's a funny old world.

Like almost everyone who uses e-mail I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.

I don't mean to be funny.

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

If I studied all my life I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

I'm not funny. What I am is brave.