I think we've been dulled by capitalism. We're just blobs now - we're so worried about how we can keep paying the lease on the car the mortgage the lease on the toaster and all that. You can't really think about much else. If you lose that you lose the whole lot.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

Swing voters are more appropriately known as the 'idiot voters' because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of fourteen you're either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster.