I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.

I had everything I'd hoped for but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean how can you tell?

Whatever is funny is subversive every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

Like almost everyone who uses e-mail I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.

Everything is funny as long as it's happening to somebody else.

You know fame is a funny thing man especially you know actors musicians rappers rock singers it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars you go to clubs everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.

From there to here and here to there funny things are everywhere.

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

Boy those French: they have a different word for everything!

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.