My hair has never been my greatest feature so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.

It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.

I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I've never been married but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

Never floss with a stranger.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never said most of the things I said.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Between two evils I always pick the one I never tried before.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Never be afraid to meet to the hilt the demand of either work or friendship - two of life's major assets.

They took their meals together and it was remarked on such occasions when the friendship of animals is put to a hard test that they never quarrelled or disputed the possession of a favourite fruit with each other.