Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em but I wouldn't want to own...
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the...
If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit. There's no point in...
Hell I never vote for anybody I always vote against.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Never try to impress a woman because if you do she'll expect you to keep up...
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great...
I like children - fried.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for...
I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food.
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food...
It's amazing how people will give when you don't ask. Many of them send money because they believe in the message.
