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Rita Rudner's Quotes 26

Women

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes....

Women

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same...

Women

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five....

Women

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up...

War

A man will go to war fight and die for his country. But he won't get a...

Respect

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for...

Pet

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

Pet

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Parenting

I want to have children but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me...

Money

My Vegas act is how I make my money.

Men

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually it's...

Medical

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office...

Marriage

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've...

Marriage

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't...

Marriage

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've...

Love

Before I met my husband I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few...

Humor

There are different kinds of humor some is sarcastic some introspective....

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Random Quote

Roy Blount Jr. Dating

I heard on public radio recently there's a thing called Weed Dating. Singles get together in a garden and weed and then they take turns they keep matching up with other people. Two people will weed down one row and switch over with two other people. It's in Vermont. I don't think I'd be very good at Weed Dating.

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