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Erma Bombeck's Quotes 44

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in...

Women

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.

Women

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Time

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of...

Success

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.

Sports

If a man watches three football games in a row he should be declared legally...

Society

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how...

Morning

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not...

Mom

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white?...

Mom

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to...

Men

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked...

Medical

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're...

Medical

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Life

Children make your life important.

Life

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of...

Life

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during...

Humor

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain comedy and tragedy...

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Booboo Stewart Pet

Pet stores just sell their animals.

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