Women: You can't live with them and you can't get them to dress up in a...
When I wake up in the morning I just can't get started until I've had that...
Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how...
My computer beat me at checkers but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little...
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I...
Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family...
In junior high school I was an object of pure ridicule for my dress...
My friends and family especially my mom and dad are always saying I should...
When Fortune smiles I smile to think how quickly she will frown.
We ought to be beating our chests every day. We ought to look in the mirror...
Ascetics and fakirs come to mitigate human suffering to heal us and lead us...
Oh the ignorance of us upon whom Providence did not sufficiently smile to...
When you consider all the stars I have managed mere submarines make me smile.