I like women but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars...
If I have to move up in a building I choose the elevator over the escalator....
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner...
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do...
I tend to avoid televisions politics and places with velvet ropes.
And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to...
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years so I had temp...
My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes you always get another...
I think that when you get dressed in the morning sometimes you're really...
For example I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of...
My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I...
At the end of the day you know love does not happen between two perfect...
Metaphors are dangerous. Love begins with a metaphor. Which is to say love...
This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love: the...
I really love idiot enlightened characters - these characters who fail to...