I like women but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars...
If I have to move up in a building I choose the elevator over the escalator....
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner...
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do...
I tend to avoid televisions politics and places with velvet ropes.
And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to...
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years so I had temp...
I love women but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are...
My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes you always get another...
I think that when you get dressed in the morning sometimes you're really...
There's no regret. You can't regret. I mean I've felt regret but I've also...
My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older...
Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good.
Let's not be afraid to speak the common sense truth: you can't have high...
It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good...
I feel beautiful when I'm at peace with myself. When I'm serene when I'm a...
Do not think of your faults still less of other's faults look for what is...
Being in a rock band is about touring. It's about writing songs and it's...
If you pursue good with labor the labor passes away but the good remains if...
I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.