I like women but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars...
If I have to move up in a building I choose the elevator over the escalator....
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner...
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do...
I tend to avoid televisions politics and places with velvet ropes.
And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to...
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years so I had temp...
I love women but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are...
My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes you always get another...
I think that when you get dressed in the morning sometimes you're really...
The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic...
But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean of course there are...
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now Howard Stern has a...
I have a funny family but none of them are remotely in show business.
When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government the fundamentalists...
So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been...
People are funny and in the most tragic situations when comedy erupts from...
It's funny though because when I first started going to races after we met...
My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken...
I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like and it doesn't go...
Somewhere between 50 to 60 percent of the food you eat has been touched by immigrant hands and it is fair to say some of them are not here as they should be here. But if you didn't have these folks you would be spending a lot more - three four or five times more - for food or we would have to import food and have all the food security risks.