I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people no matter how hard...
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television...
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that...
When women are depressed they eat or go shopping. Men invade another...
Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it direct it produce it...
I've thought for the last decade or so the only actual place raw truth was...
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
I've never been married but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think...
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out I lock every other...
But the wicked passions of men's hearts alone seem strong enough to leave...
I think the idea that you can go this alone is - was a huge mistake. And...
I have two ideas for novels at the moment neither of them all that...
Something about Texas I'm not proud of is that our state murdered 37 people...
I spend my life essentially alone at a computer. That doesn't change. I have...
I can support going in after Saddam Hussein but I want to make sure I don't...
I can barely remember what I wrote yesterday let alone 10 years ago.