Your body's really only meant to compete at the highest levels of combat...
Never stay in a bad marriage and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.
I never in my wildest imagination dreamed that I would somehow become a...
The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any...
The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak...
I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a...
I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh but I had never seen...
It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit...
That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people and make sure...
I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do.
The Peking man was a thinking being standing erect dating to the beginning...
I'm a bad dater - I'm just not good at it. It's so weird dating in this town....
I got that experience through dating dozens of men for six years after...
I was dating a guy that was a huge wrestling fan and I'm embarrassed to say...
I don't really talk about my personal life. It's a strange and funny and...
I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus...
I don't talk about who I'm dating because when you break up you wind up...
Frankly the reason I joined MENSA is because I was dating a guy at the time...
I think a nice romantic dinner should be saved for when you and the girl...
My original inspiration was my mom: a few years after the death of my dad...