I like women but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars...
If I have to move up in a building I choose the elevator over the escalator....
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner...
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do...
I tend to avoid televisions politics and places with velvet ropes.
And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to...
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years so I had temp...
I love women but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are...
My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes you always get another...
I think that when you get dressed in the morning sometimes you're really...
But the wicked passions of men's hearts alone seem strong enough to leave...
I think the idea that you can go this alone is - was a huge mistake. And...
I have two ideas for novels at the moment neither of them all that...
Something about Texas I'm not proud of is that our state murdered 37 people...
I spend my life essentially alone at a computer. That doesn't change. I have...
I can support going in after Saddam Hussein but I want to make sure I don't...
I can barely remember what I wrote yesterday let alone 10 years ago.